Draft of Trust No Ally
Detective Sarah James had been working on this case for weeks. The disappearance of local businessman Richard Green was not just a simple theft; something sinister lurked behind his sudden vanishing. Every lead seemed to end in a dead-end, until today. A faint whisper carried through the air as Sarah stood outside the old library. She recognized the voice and followed it inside, where she found Richard tied up in one of the dimly lit corners. The revelation of his captor's identity sent chills down her spine. But there was no time for celebration; the mastermind behind this elaborate scheme had left a note with cryptic clues leading to their next move.
Draft Review of Trust No Ally
Review feedback for draft.txt:
Strengths:
- The narrative builds suspense well, keeping readers engaged.
- The setting (the old library) adds to the atmosphere and provides a unique backdrop for the scene.
- The character development of Detective Sarah James is strong; she's persistent and resourceful.
Suggestions:
- Clarify the relationship between Detective Sarah James and Richard Green. Are they friends? Colleagues?
- Include more descriptive language about the captor to build tension and make them more memorable.
- Consider adding a bit more depth to the cryptic note, perhaps hinting at what the mastermind might do next or how it will impact Detective James.
Please consider these points when revising your draft.